Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The place that shaped me.

I'm going to try to avoid being melodramatic, but my heart is heavy with a mixture of emotions today. Another summer has come & gone, and here I am trying to figure out how it all happened so quickly. Every summer God blesses Camp Hunt in ways that make it apparent to me, God is here. It's the place where my relationship with God is it's strongest. It's upsetting to think that this summer at camp was my last summer as a counselor. The past five years I have been on staff in some way at camp and now, it's time to let other people step up. From a distance, it probably seems pretty dramatic. But camp is my summer. Summer is camp. It's all I've known.
Camp Hunt is a little Christian camp tucked away, fairly remotely, in the hills of Hubbardsville, New York. I've been going to camp, with the exception of two summers, since 1998. My first summer I was seven years old and now I turn twenty-one next month. Math puts that at twelve summers of my life spent at camp. Being a teenager is hard stuff. Having a place to go every summer to live freely as a Christian with other people who believe the same thing, is a blessing. Those relationships formed at camp are some of the deepest friendships I have and I am so thankful. Camp shaped me into the person I am today. Camp Hunt was my safe haven growing up. Mix the numbers with the fact that I'm a ridiculously sentimental/emotional person and you get a hot mess come the end of summer. 
But this summer is different. I can't say, "It's okay, I'll see you next summer!". Truth is, I don't know where I'll be next summer. My heart wants to spend every summer at camp, but my brain knows that's not reasonable. And then I'm reminded, it's not about what I want. It's about what God wants for me. My friend once said, "You weren't born to be somebody, you were born to know somebody." It can be painful to put aside our hopes and dreams. But in the end, I'm comforted knowing that God has a plan for me, He has always had a plan. I need to step back and let Him work.
The relationship I have with God at camp is one that I don't have anywhere else. But I've come to realize this summer that honestly, I'm capable of having that relationship anywhere. Naturally it's easier at camp where everyone is there to build you up. But the world isn't as kind. It's not going to be easy, but God never promised it would be. Just that in the end, it would be worth it. I have faith.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Not just yet.

Every time I get on here to try and blog about life these past few weeks, I draw a blank. Then my stomach hurts. So, I'm thinking that I need a little more time to process that it's really over and that school is very quickly approaching. I'll be back, very soon. Hang tight.