Wednesday, May 29, 2013

get nice & comfy...

I haven't posted in approximately 3 weeks.
I'm just embarrassed!
sometimes I'm all like "guys I'm a blogger!"
and sometimes I spread my posts out by 3 weeks.
sometimes I write really witty posts,
and sometimes they're kinda lackluster.
so, I guess I'm kind of unpredictable.
but, if it's any consolation, i've been yearning to blog,
time just has not been in my favor.
but as a warning, I don't know if I'm feeling witty.
i'm soooorrrryyyy!
just fight through this post & the next one will be better.
 I promise i'll be a little witty.

the short story: graduation, Florida, Grad Party, Honduras, Camp Hunt.


i'm a graduate...
and that about sums it up, ha.
maybe in my post-Honduras future i'll have more to say,
but right now, Honduras is basically all I think about.


my graduation present to myself was taking a little trip...
...a little trip to ORLANDO with two of my best friends.
it was the perfect vacation.
we laid on the beach,
we explored Universal Studios,
we drank butterbeer,
 and we just genuinely enjoyed our last few days together.
the 3 of us live miles(MD)&miles(NY)&miles(FL) away from each other,
so this trip was the perfect cap to our college years together.

Grad Party! (because I graduated)

I got to see my whole family!
going to school 1,200 miles away is a blessing & a curse.
I love the distance.
but sometimes I hate the distance.
but i'm home now!
I got to see my bffl (best friend for life),
my brother and my sister,
and everyone in between!
it was a really great day.

Honduras in t-minus 3 days!!!

this is blowing. my. mind.
i'm at a point where I could write nothing,
or literally write a book about how i'm feeling.
to spare you, i'll simply say this:
I am so blessed & I literally cannot wait.

Camp Hunt!

it will help you better understand why I was SO EXCITED
to be asked to return once I get home from Honduras.
after Hondo, I'll do a quick turn-around
(about a day and a half to be exact)
and head out to be a counselor once again.
it's strange because i'll be an old folk when it comes to staff,
but i'm so, so, so beyond excited.

if you made it through this post, I congratulate you.
so there it is.
the past and the future in a blog post.
I may write again before I leave,
but with my track record who can really say.
if not, next time I post will be from Honduras!
stay tuned!!!!
tracy lynn

Monday, May 6, 2013

100%!!!!! I'm going back!!!!!


let me set it up for you:
I woke up this morning,
checked my email (as always)
and saw I had an email for
and it said "The Baum family has donated $100 to your internship"
and my brain nearly EXPLODED because I knew what that meant,
my goal that was set 1 month ago.
my goal that basically terrified me.
my goal that, if we're being honest, seemed impossible.
 I thought impossible and God laughed.
when will I learn?
I will always be human.
I will always worry.
but honestly, I worry SO MUCH LESS these days.
I have had too many first-hand experiences to still doubt.
so yes, I still worry, but I think some worrying is normal.
but I don't doubt anymore. how can I?

Honduras, I'm coming back for you
and I cannot WAIT to see what God has planned!!

tracy lynn

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Tying the loose ends

Tracy Donitzen B.Ed.
that's my new title folks, well, 6 days from now at least.

so for some reason, this time around just seems like old news.
it's just not hitting me the same way it is everyone else.
at least it hadn't yet.
not until this afternoon.

the weirdest things make me reminisce.
today I'm at work, my very last shift mind you.
(so that's kind of a big deal.)
I leave the office to go to the restroom.
walking down the hall I look down at the tiles,
and then it hits me.
I'm about to graduate and leave this place.
tiles, y'all.
tiles finally made it all click.
why you ask?
because I start thinking, when will I see these tiles again?
and that ripped open the floodgates.
when will I see these buildings again?
when will I see my co-workers again?
when will I see my friends again?
when will I see Searcy again?
when will I see Arkansas again?
when will I even see the south again?
so here I am, in a state of bewilderment.
I am graduating college and leaving this place.
my home for three years and I'm expected to just pack up & go.
well if you know me,
and when I think about it, most of you don't,
I don't just detach myself from anything.
if I'm in, I'm physically, mentally & 1000% emotionally in.
so, somehow, between now and Saturday,
I need to emotionally detach myself from this life.
that sounds really overwhelming, and it probably will be.
I'm leaving behind a place I really did fall in love with.
thought it's not so much the place as it is the people.
I've made a lot of wonderful, life-changing friendships.
each of which I am so thankful for.

last week at bible study we talked about these upcoming goodbyes.
and there were two points that hit me hard.
1. stay invested in these relationships.
2. stop worrying. God is in control.
(until you believe that, you won't know peace.)
I have had some of the most incredible experiences here.
and with my level of sentiment,
I know I will not be forgetting any of them anytime soon.
so yes, I'm scared & sad & heartbroken.
but the next phase of my life is coming.
and as scared as I am, I'm really excited.
so bare with me as I ride out the waves of
this emotional roller coaster we call graduation
and tie up the loose ends.
 tracy lynn