Thursday, August 8, 2013

how do I sum it all up?

this summer.

I spent six life changing weeks in Honduras; 1|2|3|4|5|6|7

then, because God loves to surprise me, I went to camp to serve as a director, counselor, friend and helper in any and all ways I could. 1998 was the first year I ventured off to camp to be an independent little lady. since then, I've been returning every year and re-learning just how independent I am not. I'm not called to be. I'm called to be surrounded by brothers and sisters to live out this life with. and I love that. ask anyone, I just don't like to be alone. I appreciate my alone time, but given the choice, I want to be with people, talking, laughing and being stupid together. so I was blessed with the opportunity to return back to my favorite place. (that may sound contradictory because of just how much I love Honduras, but camp has always been my first, life-changing love.) and being back this summer reminded me exactly why camp has changed my life so steadily throughout the years. I was surrounded by a group of counselors that I got to watch grow up. these counselors were all campers my first year or two of counseling. and as bizarre as it was (I had to have said, "I'm so old!", almost daily), it was so cool to see the way God had moved in these peoples lives to get them to this summer. God is so cool. so back to that 'you're not so independent' remark. after five years on staff, it took this summer for one thing to finally set it. be intentional. be intentional with your friendships; I rekindled/finally formed relationships with people I had wasted, literally years, not getting to know. I can't say how sorry I am for that, but I can say I'm MORE than ready to make up or that lost time. and I made new friends that I'm ready to be friends with for a very long time. be intentional with your prayers; God is supposed to be our best friend. for far too long I prayed kind of like a robot. then I tried to imagine what it would be like if I walked up to Lace or Lauren and started talking like a robot to embarrassing... so I started having feelings (which I'm full of, no problem) and suddenly I was forming a friendship. and really, with everything you're doing, just be intentional; start thinking about everything you're doing and just take a second to feel out if it's worth it. it's amazing how things quickly become unimportant while others become a necessity. if there's one thing I've learned this summer it's this: God is so big and we are so small, and His plans are so much better than our plans.

I have grown more as a person and a believer than I ever thought was possible. I have experienced things this summer that will resonate with me for the rest of my life. I have received love and learned what it means to love without boundaries. I have developed new relationships and turned old relationships into something brand new. My faith has been blown apart and slowly pieced back together into something more magnificent than I knew was possible, with new pieces being added every day.

I feel like the luckiest, happiest, most blessed version of myself, and I'm thankful to every single person that has brought that person out of me this summer. And I'm thankful for my God who never stops surprising me.


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